Do you believe in individual universes (IUs)? Do you talk to your universe?
Because i do. i believe that each one of us has our own universe which works only then when we work for ourselves. It's a selfish world. You have to work even when it's something of your own.
Just yesterday in the afternoon, i was deluged by several thoughts. They kept coming from random directions and i blinked at each of them, took them in and pondered for what it was worth. When i am deep in thinking, thoughts come to me in English as well as in Hindi. In fact, 60-70% thoughts are spoken into my head in English. Simply say, i think in English. It has come to a natural habit.
As i kept on taking in the flood of thoughts and concerns, i maintained the conversation with my universe. There are a few questions which can be answered by your universe only. Those questions are far and big enough for any human reach. So i kept talking asking this, pointing that, nodding here, grunting there...the process lasted for an hour i guess. This is also a good thing by believing into IUs. You can keep talking for as long as you want and you won't feel lonely after some time. The feeling of having someone to talk to and to be able to open your heart come as a relief. You see, heart is a small organ. It has a limit. It is equipped to contain up to a certain amount of thoughts only. It can expand given the magnitude of daily life stress but let's not pose a challenge. It might explode with a threat.
Therefore, at times when the heart gets over-loaded by thoughts, you feel the need to talk. My kid was there at home but it certainly wouldn't be wise to call him and share my things. Let's spare the kid, i thought. So i kept up with the conversation, in English might i add until i had to squeeze my eyes shut, fatigued and gloomy. The stress of writing and playing guitar is already too much to handle these days yet i am doing it with the best of my endeavors. i lay there on the bed with me and my universe still in conversation, when, for the first time, something hit me and my eyes shot open with another question:
"But...do you understand English?"