Thursday, 18 January 2018

Feminism: Where it needs work?

In the series hashtag Women On The Move organized every Wednesday by Women's Web on twitter, we women were indulged in discussing probabilities of below idea:

                                                               How to raise feminist sons?

Men and women, all are equally welcome to join these weekly sessions.

Bring the word Feminism anywhere and you will be frowned upon, sneered at or may be even face palmed with judgment. And that's exactly why it makes up for a brilliant topic. The concept is highly misunderstood and often taken as an offense/granted when someone says he or she is a feminist. There are multiple layers of myths and misconceptions linked to feminism that demands to be unpeeled off! As a result, we talked.

After an hour long chat, these ideas were bring forth collectively - 

  • Communicate with sons. 
  • The males of the house should start respecting women. Because charity begins at home.
  • Boys should be involved in household chores to understand the nature of women's work.
  • They should utilize media such as books and movies to understand women more.
  • They should not play gender wise. Girls and boys both should play together.
  • Stop using blue for boys and pink for girls.
  • Parents should not select toys gender wise.
  • No silly jokes/gestures, that indicate disregard to any woman, should be allowed to avoid complexities later.
  • Sons should communicate with such men who pay regards to women and understand them. Sitting with own species bring more awareness and broadens the perspective.
  • Household chores should not be divided as what's assigned for girls and what's for boys as much as  when it comes to sports. If boys can play badminton, girls too can play chess and cricket.
  • Make sons responsible

Well, i have tried to put as much of them as i can remember. i am sharing only to spread the knowledge. 

The evening moved forward and i was busy in preparing dinner. Along with rolling out chapatis and cooking veggies in the pressure cooker, i kept thinking about the topic, on 'what else can be done in an attempt to raise our sons into more civilized and open minded personalities'. Two ideas hit me eventually:


1. We should teach them the meaning of Feminism

Feminism is often taken on wrong notes. People think being feminist means to favor women and hate men, talking all the time about women's rights, trying to put women above men, encouraging women towards vulgarity, bringing harm to the culture, destroying relationships...there are just so many myths related to this particular term and they are so deep that all of it conjures up into a taboo to be talked openly. 

But no! Being feminist means none of the above. Almost a month ago, i too wasn't sure what does feminism exactly mean but then i stumbled upon this article written so eloquently and leisurely by Anupama Dalmia that it opened my eye on the subject. She has debunked many taboos assisting  feminism. 


Read the above and i am sure you will know being a feminist is wonderful. Being feminist means to believe in the equality of men and women. Being feminist means to encourage healthy mind set and derailing decades old rustic concepts such as patriarchy. Being feminist means to be fair and cool. Cool because our growing little heads embrace the word quicker.

Focus on the word - Equality

When we teach our sons the real meaning of feminism then only they will be able to embrace it. If someone, who is unclear of the term throws a snide, our sons will be able to respond positively and that can be a good head start of a healthy well educated man-in-making. They will not be ashamed of being a feminist. Learning the real meaning of feminism will only broaden up the young generation's  horizon of attitude.

You can follow below links to know more about feminism:

Feminism Wikipedia


2. Women too should respect their work

Second thing i believe that can strengthen the concept of feminism is, when women and by women, i fair and square mean mothers, take matter into hands; when they start realizing the value of their work and hence, respecting it. Because mothers work as a tip in the family. They bring everyone together. And if she is strong, the rest are strong too. 

Still, mothers belittle their works until someone comments nicely or gives a slice of recognition. If going by our egg-headed Miss World Manushi Chillar, mothers should be the highest paid workers in the world and we do get the underlined meaning she said it with.

So when mothers do the maximum labor to balance work and life then why do they need someone to tell their merits? Men contribute a lot but they don't necessarily need someone's standing ovation just to realize their worth. And it's a laudable virtue which i respect immensely. If they are sensitive towards the value they add then women too should be able to process what their fair share of work means.

Unless we work on ourselves, how will the equality be achieved?

On my part, i get my son to do his share of work + some more chores everyday, significant enough to make him responsible. My husband does not hesitate in helping me in the kitchen or peeling off clusters of garlic. He loves helping me out and trust me, if i could do something to help him out in his work, i'd certainly do it. It's just his work is bank related and i am not an expert but he does share his official stress and i do my best to relieve him of that. So i too help as best as i can.

My work is writing which never ends! It's a 24/7 job and with my new book out, i am stressing much on its promotions lately. i can't sleep properly yet i get up early morning every day (at 4:45) to cook breakfasts and lunches to give them away. One thing that i feel a huge disadvantage with writers  is that we do not have a designated place to be called our office or simply, writing corner. Writing at home and managing personal life get so much stressful at times that i feel the bubble can burst any minute and i will run out of breath yet i write and look after my family and house. Every. Single. Day.

And i do realize the importance of drudgery i chip in. It's just i don't get fancy checks for it to wave at my face. Yes, at mine and not men. Despite of it, i work hard and dream of earning a fancy income one day because no one can deny the affect a bread winner brings in but it won't be possible until we urge every woman out there to realize, respect and rationalize their work. It is a simple action that we do today which can bring the desired result tomorrow.

Women can be equal if they start treating themselves as such.

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i believe doing above twos can also bring the shift. Let us teach our little sons the real meaning of feminism and our work so that when they break the chrysalis of naivety, they will have the rightful  vision to be able to make changes we want to see in the free world.



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