Monday, 15 January 2018

8 pointers on How to survive on your own.

How do you define a good time?

When everything is running smoothly, when everything is exactly what you wanted to be, right?

Now let's define a bad time.

When nothing goes in favor, and you feel your legs are tied at one end of the anchor whose other end is tied to the bottom of the ocean. The feeling of drowning to be precise.

If you abhor bad times, well then good times are the ones to blame. Because they have given you the taste of happiness, of how time flies away quickly and how easier it was to breathe every second. With bad times, it is like we are standing on the other side of the mirror where everything is the exact opposite.

So who is the better teacher between the two?

Bad times. Right?! Because they teach you the hardest lessons, because they peel the mask off faces, because they allow you to see the reality. And since we are all dreamers, reality is a salty pie which no one is willing to eat.

Learning process is hard but with few hacks, it can get easier to understand the sinking phase. We can evolve, only if we allow ourselves a chance to deal with the ghost presence called dark times.

Throw a quick glance at 8 hacks


We may all have one primary job but like soups and salads, we have our side kicks too. Find distraction as soon as you feel downward. This will prevent negative sentiments to pile up. Find something that can take your mind off. For example, watch a good movie that can absorb you totally. Read a good book which has a compelling story to tell. Paint or draw, may be. Doodling is a hack proved by the researchers that works as a healer. Go out. Fresh air fills your brain with more oxygen and that's what required to feel uplifted.

Do not push

Do not push yourself too much when you feel the day is going bad. Just be yourself. Trying to locate the fussed up focus is recommended, yes but too much of trials may only lead to a stock of failed attempts. Sit quietly and talk to yourself. In. Positive. Sentences. A few pieces of past may come to haunt you but think -  It's going to be okay. It always does.

Feel the frustration

The first thing we do when we are in trouble is to call someone and blabber about it. Stop! Make an exception this time. When you feel frustrated, when you are at the edge of giving up, hold onto yourself. Let the frustration or failure/s roll over you. Let them bulldoze you with the greatest of their pressure wheels. Absorb. Do not lose hope. This is only a molding experience. You are giving yourself a chance to grow, to become better. Reshaping is always a tough process. Be the part of every single step. Let it burn you to the core.


Wait for the phase to be over. If it wasn't there yesterday or an hour ago, it'll certainly evaporate after an hour or by tomorrow. Nothing stays constant, neither happiness nor sorrows. Give them time before you can get back at yourself.

Take lessons/notes

In recent years, my behavior towards tough times has changed. It has evolved! When i am going through one, i look for what lessons i can possibly collect. It's the secondary step to killing myself during the hard time but since i am not a coward, i breathe in and think - what lesson do i have to take? What happened that has taken me down this road today? i think about the trigger, exactly! i also ponder what can i do to not to repeat it. Some realizations come slow but with continuous hard work, even a metal can get imprinted by the constant tapping.

You are not your mistake!

A few minutes ago i watched this video of Oprah Winfrey, the world wide celebrity. In her motivational video, she said, 'You are not your mistake. No one can define you on the basis of one. You have bigger goal to achieve so focus on that. Listen to that.' 

i don't think i need to say anything else.

Relax. Take one step at a time

In the same Winfrey video, she said to not get burdened by everything at once. Relax! Chill! Do not plan too many moves. Just plan the next one. And when you get there, plan the next and so on... 

A wonderful lesson. The world is not living on your shoulders. You can afford to breathe. Take it easy.

Picture abhi baaki hai, mere dost! or simply, be with yourself

Even when the bad time is over, stick within the perimeter of yourself. My recommendation is not to go partying around the city or start wasting time but even if you want to, make a good use of every moment. The bad time experiences are usually pretty overwhelming. Even when you are out of it, you can still sense their dust resting all over you. So be with yourself until that is off you too. Let the bad times resonate its affects until it's completely over. It's a highly critical stage. 

Tough times are usually a calling. Pay attention and you will come out of the depth of its darkness as a winner, as a fighter.


These are my hacks to get over tough times. How do you do it? Anything that's not on list? Share. Because it shows you care.


Buy my latest book - The Shadow of Darkness on Amazon

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