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Free like a fire-fly.

It's 10:45 PM and millions of my Nation fellows must be sleeping but here I am! Just finished watching a movie What If starring Daniel Radcliffe (as Wallace) and Zoe Kazan (as Chantry) and both of them happen to have blue eyes. The movie was a special premier by the channel and I liked it. It is mostly like other sweet romantics but with a bit of twist sort of tale but still it is a good watch. Not all the time I prefer complicated or a sci-fi movies. Sunday nights can, well, be dedicated for softer shades of human directions. Actors did good and I don't know why but every time I see Daniel Radcliffe, I feel as if he is about to chant a magical spell with his black robe. Well, this is the defect of being a Harry Potter fan and a great reward to its author, Ms. Rowling. Anyway, the movie ended on, as expected, a sweet romantic note and I, this time, struggled over not to cry. I am not sure but these days I cry over all types of endings. If hero-heroines meet, I cry and if they depart, I cry again. Today I volunteered to be my own teacher and instructed myself to behave sober and I obliged. Who wants to mess up with a teacher, huh?

Do you like watching movies alone? tucked in the blanket or shivering with cold, never mind? eating popcorn or some chips and drinking cold drinks? Well, I did not indulge into any of these edibles tonight but I like watching movies alone. It sort of fits perfectly with my loner-self. I don't mind being alone so watching movies all alone like a creep is fine to me. Besides, I get to do fun things along. like I painted my nails with two colors in alternate manner. Lemme see their exact names. It's Atomic Orange and Shimmer Peacock. And my fingers are looking pretty nice. And I do this too when I am writing and typing gets interesting, you see. I thought to share clips of my painted nails but I am not sure how'd they look here. May be they would help me dwindle down the number of my fans, if any, here. So I choose to refrain.

My Guitar class happened for two hours today and at the end, I was elated! Because I now can twist and turn my fingers into ghastly chord settings such as C or D minor. Forming F Major and then to switch over to G Major now is less intimidating. I am also getting a bit better with timings while playing a song, if you know what I mean. Our trainer got us a beautiful song - Show me the meaning of being lonely by Backstreet Boys. It's a lovely song and also a challenge. Because this is the song with maximum number of chord swipes with a whooshing speed. In a single line, you have to change, mind you, five times! So far, I can roughly manage to play a few songs with different strumming patterns but this Backstreet Boys' song is a challenge. I will just try to hold onto it until I get done with it. I know my trainer will be happy if the slowest learner of his class can play this song. Just today he took a surprise test and will get the results next weekend. I am pretty sure I am gonna be absent on that day.

I am also decided to practice more and more. Once I get down to play, it just gets under my skin and then I start to love playing with strings. It does not matter whether my playing might sound a big loud sloppy noise to others but it sounds somewhere a rhythm to me and that's all I need. One day, and I am sure that day will come, I am going to master my Guitar and play it flawlessly. Until then, lemme go with a turtle's speed and precisely that will make me a winner. A great thought to boost a loner-soul, isn't it? So you just pray, because two heads are better than one.

It is good to stay awake at late nights and to be stubborn about doing it. To be able to do it gets the trophy. I like watching stars but don't sit in my balcony anymore. They somehow look so silent and much into each other. They were kinda talkative earlier but now everything seems so silent, so much of...vanilla. I wonder why did they stop talking. Did I do something bad or they had a fight among themselves? Either way, I am the one paying the price but I can't do anything about it.

It's 23.33 PM now and I think I should be hitting the shack. I wish I could have a night out though. Before I leave, a little poem for you. Hang on with a nice smile.

Days just go by, and nights hang still
With sleepy or wide-awake eyes, I wait until
the world is asleep so that it is all quiet
and then only gets the wandering free like a fire-fly.


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Maa bohot dard sah kar..
bohot dard de kar...
tukhse kuch kah kar main jaa rahi hun.......
Aaj meri vidai main jab Sakhiyaan milne aayengi...
Safai­d Jode main lipti dekh sisak sisak mar jayengi... Ladki­ hone ka khud pe fr wo Afsos jatayengi.....
M­aa tu unse itna kah dena Darindo k duniya main Sambhal kar rahna..........­­..... Maa Rakhi par jb Bhaiya Kalai suni rah jayegi.. yaad mujhe kar kar jab unki Aankh bhar ayegi.... Tilak mathe par karne ko Maa rooh meri bhi Machal jayegi... Maa tu bhaiya ko rone na dena.…