Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Death By Beach.

Time: 6 PM; Date: Today.

Warning: Do Not read this post because it's very very depressing, especially if 1). you are on a suicide mission (and I hope you are not), and 2). or unless you are as depressed as I am.

Sticking eyes to the laptop screen for three consecutive days can be hazardous to health and perhaps that's why I am a bit fatigued at the moment. After my evening tea when I again procured my seat to work, I felt I needed some rest, may be a bit of nap. So I paused my story and ventured to lie down for sometime. Sleep, as casual as it sounds, is actually not very casual to come when one is tired. With closed eyes, my mind wandered over several thoughts until I got hooked up to one.

How would I like to die?

The thought fascinated me. So far, my knowledge says all of us prefer to think and plan about the kind of life we would like to spend, the vacations, luxurious hotels, good food, partying, writing, living a grand life and similar stuff. Know what I mean? I too was riding the same track till the above thought caught me in its captivity. I never had thought about how would I like to die never mind the surroundings, people I'd love to have by my side, the time of my final exhale and the other details. So with my eyes still tight shut, I thought to give some attention to my death.

Important Disclaimer: I don't have any fatal disease i.e. I am perfectly healthy (I just lack sufficient Vit. D in my body and if that worries you then I'll say you are very kind). I also lead a perfect happy life. No troubles there as well. It's just a simple plain thought. That's all. So I plunged to plan my death and hence, acquiring the position of The Death Planner (much like The Wedding Planner but basically in a morbid sense).

I'll confess that at first, it was hard to plan the details. I had never done that and some things can not just click so easily but I kept pace with the virtue of perseverance. Finally bells of little things started gathering around in strings of my final moments. At the end, I decided I would like to die like this -

Somewhere in the middle of nature, by the sea. No loved ones around because they will be hurt. And I'd tuck my husband and the kid at some furthest but safest place because my final moments will be like surviving through hell to them. I love them the most and that's why I will keep them at maximum distance.

The time should start around eleven at night so that I can see those beautiful stars buried in the little pockets of the sky. I will be lying on the smooth sand with sea ripples gently rolling by my side. The weather will be pleasant with wind brushing me coolly. A blanket will be there, just in case. The beach will be all mine and as I lay, I will think about all good memories that kept me walking on the journey called life. I will cherish them, reminisce them and improvise because human being is selfish and I will be yet to attain salvation. I will also make apology once again in my heart for the hearts I have broken unintentionally. I will pray for those people to get double the amount of happiness. Sad moments will have no use so they will chucked out of the sight along with my flip flops.

I will continue remembering good people and good memories until the night turns into the darker shade. The sight will be a gem to my eyes. I will also not like anyone to be around planning his or her own death as I am doing mine. Simply because it's my beach, my planning and sharing space with another planner will cost me some peace of mind. So do not plan your plans along with my plans. There are lot more beautiful lucrative places to find and better ideas to pull. Just spare mine!

I will not like to eat any food because it will be bit depressing to eat alone. I will not even read any book even if sea waves thrust Cecelia or John Green or Grisham or Paulo Coelho at my face. And I guess by that time, I will have written lots of books with beautiful stories that I have to tell. I will tuck them all aside because my death will need my undivided attention and so will I. As the clock somewhere (I will have no watch as well. For the first time I will just let the moon and stars show me the time) strikes later time of night, I will see the  crescent moon turning brighter and stars gathering around as if to fight over which one will have her attention the most. I will smile and say, Relax! You all have my equal attention and upon hearing this, the littlest flickering star shining quite far away will do the tap dancing and come into my focus. I will continue diving into memories and may be at some point of night, a sea wave will come nearer and drench my cold feet. But it'll be good. Getting drenched feet before mingling into the particles of its waves sounds cool.

But I will not choose the night as my time of farewell. It will be morning, the new born sun peeking through the helm of the horizon. That will be perfect for me. I will rather choose to die in warmth than to rest in cold. So as the baby sun will try to erupt through the womb of orange-ish sky, its sunshine will tickle my toes and then will soak my entire body in its warmth. I will like that! I have less number of RBCs in my body and that is why probably my body gets quickly cold in comparison to the others. So the morning time will be the perfect time of my death, my final bye bye to this amazing world.

Being a lazy person, I will still be lying on the sand allowing the sea to play ornery to my side. I will observe those beautiful little sun rays stretching into the sky, turning into big streaks. I will watch the night sky transforming into a sheet of hope and warmth. I will also watch those blue-orange colors and little white fluffy clouds scattered all over the sky like an upside down river with a neat arrangement of ripples. To have an idea of how I will like my final morning, have a look at below pictures. It was taken in the early morning this year, on my birthday.

Both of these belong to the same morning. See the shift of colors? Fascinating, isn't it? That's why, a morning such as this will be my savior to guide me through the transition from mortal to immortal.

As the warm sunshine will have warmed my heart and soul, I will pray for the last time for all those people who loved and supported me and then I will just close my eyes. Then and hopefully without much of a trouble, my soul will smoothly leave my body, letting it to stay warm for as long as it is possible. I don't have much idea what happens after death and I can only tell you once I am really dead but then I will not be having my laptop on the beach, I will not be able to write. In fact, I am doubtful whether my soul will be able to type much like a human being because in movies, they show ghosts and souls pass through everything! So my after-death experience will only be reserved for me and that will be terrific! The truth and facts of afterlife hopefully will be like soulful taste of Maggi and mind you, I don't share my bowl of Maggi whether it's from the kitchen of Nestle or Divine. It'll be just for me.

Once my soul gently leaves my body, I will turn into a bird. Finally! And then I will race through the sky, giving a never ending chase to those beautiful skyline and warm sun rays. I will fly high but also stare right back at the glow of sun with a smile for I can not do it being a human. Souls never get burned by the heat, I have heard.

I have absolutely no knowledge what happens after after-death. No movie has portrayed it so far. So what happens after I turn into a bird and then die again, let's leave it for imagination. Until I find it out, I will just enjoy my time still flying and racing around soft clouds and shimmering stars and the crescent moon and the glowing sun.

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Hey! Before you leave, i wish you a good day or...night.