Saturday, 30 April 2016

Keep Going.

Keep Going until you touch the horizon.

Since a few days, I am such consumed by my work that I hate to get up for other chores. I am being selfish but the truth is, that until you get one, you can't be a writer. Well, that's the truth of my life. Just yesterday I started working on my story right at the nick of noon and stopped only at 12.30 at night. I took little breaks but quickly got back on my sofa and worked like a maniac. 

When the rest of world goes by its ways, it is good to find something that can keep you busy so much so that you forget to notice the change in the shade of day light. When it has turned from burning warm afternoons to lighter sultry early evenings to pleasant late evenings to absolute silence of night, that amazes you only when you are done with typing to look up. And when you look up, you find dirty messed up house, left overs scattered over the kitchen counters, laundry waiting to be done, bed linen silently pleading to be changed and so on... And despite being a cleaning maniac (remember Monica from FRIENDS? I am a little shadow of hers. I know its scary!!), I accept all these changes. Because I have learned to be flexible from my work. I remember one day when I actually took notice of my house right after getting done with my story, the horror of being non-Monica scared a good deal out of me. I was immediately stressed but then I calmed myself down and was reminded to be OKAY with all this. It was an important lesson but fret not! When there is a guest in my house, it looks all nice and clean and a happy place to be in.

Monday, 25 April 2016

Once upon a time...

'Once upon a time, a boy and a girl loved each other madly and fought to the world for each other.'


'Then what! They got screwed. They got married!'

Saturday, 23 April 2016

Life out of an empty box.

Four strangers, a notorious tall tower and one mission - Suicide.

But somehow they all ended up together in a car, talking and sharing a few things. Later, circumstances turned the table and the day of suicide got postponed. Valentine's Day it became. Interestingly, all four of them somehow hung to one another and found themselves spending a fun trip to some exotic famous place (probably Miami, I guess) just to enjoy the remaining few days left in their what they hated to call, life. One of them, an old lady, was particularly scared of boarding an airplane because she never had the luxury of such experience. As you guessed it right, rest three pulled her and buckled her seat and finally landed on the land. They enjoyed, laughed, danced and one of them even hooked up with a reporter (which was meant to be a dead end, as expected). Life took turns and so did they. Eventually one day, the scenario was entirely changed. At the end, they were found wishing one another Merry Christmas and New Year through Skype. And this way, life continued to live.

Intriguing enough to garner your interest? Now you really want to read the full story? Well, I would love to take the trophy here but it is not the plot of my next story. Or any story I am reading right now whatsoever. Instead, it is a plot of a movie that I watched may be around two weeks ago and since then, it kept hanging around in my head like how those four people clung to each other through every misery, tear and more suitably, the suicide point. When their lives were ironed to smooth and they finally learned to love themselves, it was a beautiful moment to watch.

Life isn't easy to live but I guess it is way more harder to take it away just like that. And when you get strangers who just cannot let you jump over the cliff and pull back, life certainly seems a bit bizarre and a less complicated puzzle to solve. Next time I am around to some cliff, I will make sure there are more people around with the same dart and target in minds. Because you know, life is livable. :)

Friday, 22 April 2016

The gnawing happiness.

I come to write after a while and what I have brought...a sad story. Well, it's not a fiction but a reality of being a human being. And every time I think 'bout it, it makes me sad, so much sad.

One of my aunts recently got separated from her family. No. No scenarios such as divorce or dying of the husband but the simple case of separation, with kids divided between parents as well. Now she is living in another section of the same city; a city where she set her foot right after marriage and spent more than half of her share of life. She turned into a wife then housewife, a mother and finally sprinted for the joy of grandmother. The city has given her so much of a human life in abundance that makes her now nothing more than a finely but skilfully crushed piece of cardamom which only has to give but nothing could be done in order to retain the life she had before coming to this city.

On a recent happening note, She had recently got blessed with a grandchild and one can only imagine the gnawing happiness and the off-balance strike she must be struggling with right now. The boy is not her first grandchild. It's the second but the fact that she has now a torn family to celebrate the happy occasion with, the sheer intensity of the glowing feeling must be causing tremendous amount of pain as well. The first grandchild was welcomed grandly and was given the love and affection of his grandfather as well. Now the second one, or should I dare say bit of the unlucky one, will have to survive on half of his grandparents' love. His grandmother's love. I bet the tears my aunt must have shed at the arrival of the newborn must be mixed with the tricklings of her own sorrow.

When my mother unveiled the event of the separation, I stopped doing whatever I was concerned with at the moment. I flinched inside and words fail to come out of mouth. I could easily go on blabbering an entire book on how a woman feels when her family is sliced into pieces, when she sees her children being divided between her and the husband, how helpless she feels when no one realizes that only bricks and furniture can be divided but no one can take away the bucket of memories which, at the time of separation, must be spilling with memories and more memories, the pain, the ruthless agony and so on... They say a woman is hard to understand. Yes. It is true. But isn't she The One making the family members' life easy and comfortable by doing her best endeavors? Well, this thin delicate logic can again be ignored in the limelight of women being too much sensitive or deprived of self-preservation. It is just so easy to ignore their feelings and what they stand for. Just as questions that must be driving her mad day in and day out. I can only imagine the moment when she was making an exit after being treated as no more than a house keeper at dispense and she is living it, breathing to its fine dust and moreover, sucking hard to it and probably choking to innumerable deaths in her head and heart. Now where does the logic of being a well nourished brainy bread winner goes of to? I ask you, wise men!

Friday, 8 April 2016

Find what you want before it's too late.

While soaking myself in the sun this morning, a thought struck me. I am currently reading a novel by John Grisham (and I happen to like it as well) where a full time well earning New York lawyer gets laid off and thrown on the street because of the sudden recession. She is clueless and in desperation, she is now in Appalachia working as an intern for twelve months (no salary, obviously). A moment ago, her life was boring yet enriching in terms of money, luxuries and occupied head but at the next, she has lost the basic source of it all - Job. I am yet to continue the fascinating fiction for what happens next when she meets Mattie Wyatt in Brady.

So the above prefacing got me thinking 'bout how everyone wants to be this and that; like some wants to be lawyer, doctor, author, businessman or some engineer. Everyone is chasing at least one dream without realizing what is it actually they are looking for in life. Fine! I know everyone seeks a job security and a comfortable life but then again, define what a comfortable life means to you. The one where you get to eat anything, shop anything and visit any place? Or, the one where you have the peace of mind that blissfully allows your sanity to stay intact?

What you achieve or what you become does not matter as much as the peace of mind and self-preservation do. These are the two utmost important aspects of one's life. For me, I am an author and other things in a row yet I am searching a piece of me somewhere; I feel as if I don't have the complete control over that most coveted and talked about peace of mind and probably that is why, the process of self-preservation becomes tough at times (and I am sure it happens with you as well) nonetheless I manage just fine. I can also happily go to some Appalachia and work as an intern but would that be the solution I want to have? Will keep working until you die concept works perfectly for everyone?

Tuesday, 5 April 2016

Love, betrayal and glitterati.

Two days ago when my husband broke the news of Pratyusha Banerjee's suicide to me, my jaw was dropped open and eyes went wide. Pratyusha's beautiful charming face circled my head in an instant and I failed to figure out what possibly could have gone wrong with such a wonderful actress? It was a terrible news and when my husband told the reason behind, I was again surprised.

I really adored her smile.

Pratyusha died because of an alleged fight with her boy friend. Today she was there for quite sometime in news. People revealed she was secretly married and was living with the guy (his name is may be Rahul). Her best friend revealed that he used to beat her black and blue in drunken state. Pratyusha would call her friend and request her save from such atrocity for several times.

A few months ago, another actress Jiah Khan's suicide case also landed as a shocker. She got pregnant and her alleged boy friend practically did the abortion on his own to confine the news within four walls and afterwards, Jiah slipped into depression leaving no signs of excitement for living life.