Sunday, 14 February 2016

When you think you have love, think again.

When your love partner asks this Q. - Will you, leave me? Ever?, your answer comes almost immediately -

No! Never!

How easy does it sound? And how romantic as well? Isn't it? But what happens next? You probably would have never thought about it but certainly have faced its consequences involuntarily.

Despite of such beautiful blinded-by-love question, the future of relationship gets enmeshed by imbalanced insecurities, icy ignorances, multiple misunderstandings, spiked conversations, lack of love and respect and not to mention, myriads of arguments and accusations and you keep wondering what went wrong. Well, this can be the story of any house or every house.

What happened? Sometime ago, everything was alright but now? Things have gotten drastically changed and you keep failing to pinpoint the trigger while it had always been there, bare in the day light and shining in the moon light.

In your answer - No! Never!

During the first few years of any relationship, nothing is binding more than love and its huge in amount.You do anything and everything to save it, preserve and secure it. And with huge love comes huge insecurity (Well, this sentence can go well with - With great power comes great responsibility). That's what ushers you to ask this Q. over and over again and when you keep receiving a very positive answer, you tend to get careless. The earlier eagerness and will to keep working on your relationship to keep it intact start to fade away without any prior notice. And it's not unnatural!

When one gets the desirable without any effort, why on earth would you care to work on it? The unachievable fascinates us and when we have the achievable, yeah! That kills the fascination and gives birth to stupid insecurities and hence, the above Q.

When I was reading The Zahir by Paulo Coelho, Esther leaves her husband because he had stopped working on their relationship. There was a time when love was everything. They worked on it furiously in initial years of marriage but when they both had what they wanted, they simply and more important, unknowingly stopped working on themselves. But the main catch of the story is, that Esther is not like any normal housewife who accepts the change and continues to live in an illusion of love. In fact, she is the kind of woman who, since the beginning, is clear about her thoughts and stands. Thus, when her relationship with her husband gets secured (yes, secured) from all the directions, she knows love is gone! And she has to bring it back. Somehow. Anyhow. Unable to work on it alone, she leaves for an unknown place which triggered her husband to find her in order to understand their relationship better.

You see! He got closer to his love when he started putting efforts to find it and preserve it. That's the beauty of love. When you think you have it, it may actually be at the doorstep, ready to leave. So never think you have it completely. Sometimes, love can be the biggest illusion and the most perfect trap in this world.

So the next time your partner asks this - Will you leave me, ever?, reply this with a beautiful smile-

Yes. I might be.

There will certainly be confusion, surprise, anger, dilemma and even suspicion with every blink but stick to your words and explain the reason. Once he or she knows that work (read: love) is still in the progress, construction will continue and so will the desire of having love floating around.

P.S. The thought about this post is not picked from The Zahir. It is the sapling of my thoughts but I have certainly taken some liberty in using a relatable aspect of the book.

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