Tuesday, 21 July 2015

Why a man cannot respect his woman partner?

The point of topic seems one of the senile lectures out of grand ma's book of ethics concerning relationships but it is still a debatable issue to talk about. Between husband and wife, love is important. There should be a need of basic understanding fulfilled as well. A quotient of fun and other light things should also be created. But what about respect? Respect must co-exist as well and that too both ways. Isn't it?

Recently I was talking to a lady and during the conversation, she confided such a thing that is usually kept hidden in the cob webs of almost every house hold; which is hardly acknowledged and never talked about. She said that if given a choice, she would have left her husband ages ago! I was startled to hear that. They both have been living together for a little more than three decades. They even have grand children but what an awful thing for a wife to say like that! For the record, I am not blaming or accusing the woman here. It is also not like she is a bad or an ill-thinking woman. She is a woman who can be adored for her repertoire of adaptability, perseverance,  kindness, joviality and what not. Her qualities are endless and she is admired by everyone around her. It is her ability that has crossed the borders of others' snides and rudeness with the warmth she carries in her heart. After all these years, she has achieved everyone's love yet...she said such a line that shook me deep within.

And there is only one reason for her to say that. It is her husband's gigantic ego; an ego that does not know how to stop growing as well as the hurt it is causing to the woman of his life. I also happen to believe that in most of households, especially in India, if marriages end up with the note of success, it is mostly because of the woman of the house. Women have to tolerate all the unpleasant things after marriage yet learn to let go all of them simultaneously. If she speaks, the society will hold her accountable for the wrong-doings in her house. If she does not, she is anyway always accountable for anything ill happening to her family. Either this or that way, women are the most loving target of our society's brunt.

But why a man cannot suppress his ego and see the outstanding benefits sprouting out of it? Just learning to bend a little in order to give his woman partner the respect she already deserves may give a meaning to her life. Women usually ask for nothing. Just give them some genuine love, respect and appreciation and she will do anything for you. But why the hell a man would care about any of it when he gets his wishes fulfilled in return anyway? He gets the physical satisfaction done in bed. He gets good food without any fuss. Gets his home organized (a place which is made Home because of his partner but again, who cares?). His relatives gets handled and treated in a nice manner. He could easily take out his anger/frustration on her and she won't even utter a single word in exchange. (Just an exercise - reverse the roles and then think about the impact). If everything gets done automatically then who has the time to think about a woman's silly emotions and gentle heart?

But closing eyes to such issues does not solve an iota of it. A man has to open eyes and look straight into his heart. He MUST deal with his Titanic-like ego and get it drowned just for the sake of his beautiful relationship with a woman who does everything for him including sacrificing a life which could have been better if she had listened to her heart. Respecting someone does not hurt! It takes just to convey a few words of hearty appreciation and love on the daily basis. It really takes only a measly effort on his part to make his woman feel wonderful and valued and in return, he will be loved more and deeply.

So when a man could be loved a little more then why he really cannot respect his woman partner?

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