Wednesday, 1 July 2015

The matter of parenting when kids lie!

Previous to the last night, I slept at 2.30 AM.  Was working on my father's speech concerned to one of his presidential ceremonies. Woke up as usual at 6.15 and got busy with work. Hubby was on leave and thus, we spent the day together.

In the afternoon, I was dipped into a blissful sleep when he along with our son came to wake me up. Cursing them involuntarily, I rubbed my eyes and turned to them. I found my son crying. I was jolted. Immediately I sat up straight. Sleep was altogether lost and I was fully into my senses. I asked the hubby but he diverted me to our son. In the middle of sobs, he admitted something that injected me with three emotions right then and there - Shock, hurt and anger.

In short, he had committed to a mistake which I could never imagine him doing. I looked at him in surprise and asked him why he lied to me when he was asked asked about the matter previosuly. As expected, he apologized. Seeing his teary eyed face churned my heart but I had to be strong. Hubby is calmer than I am and that is why, one of the parents has to be rough on kids on serious matters.

I asked him the reason behind his mistake and he said he was clueless about finding the solution by himself. Fortunately, I was sane through the vortex of the jabbing anger. I put forward solutions that he could do to avoid such situations and he readily accepted them. I was not hurt because he committed a mistake. Mistakes are natural part of our lives. They happen but what hurt me the most was...that he lied! And to me! My own innocent son chose to lie to me for over months.

Earlier, he used to speak truth whenever I asked him gently. On this issue, I too had been soft and polite to him but he never admitted his actions. I helplessly thought why did he choose to lie? You see! This matter is not about good or bad parenting. It is about witnessing just another phase of your kid's development. It is about setting their conscience right. I was angry at him and I knew I should punish him for doing so because an adequate amount of punishment, on right time, can set many things straight in the future.

I punished him but before that I made myself very clear. First, lying is seriously a bad thing and he will never ever lie to his parents again. Second, if he fails to find a solution of some issue, he must seek help/options. And third, he will follow the punishment strictly through out its span.

He understood and cried a little more too. My eyes too oozed some drops. It is not my father or my husband but him whom I love the most in this world. So as a mother, I am also supposed to teach things in strict manner as well. Softness or gentleness not always do the magic. Parents must be mature enough to take serious actions to bring desired results in culmination. Now I wish his innocence to be protected and wisdom to be gained.


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