Tuesday, 24 February 2015

That annoying neighbor.

Few days back as I went down for my regular evening walk, I spotted some other neighbors talking in the pavement (another regular thing). Some of them are my friends and to some, I go with only small talk. One of them (a good friend of mine or I thought so) suddenly asked me about my book, It's Never Too Late. I smiled. She pestered me to tell its story. I thought to give the glimpse. As I was narrating the basics, I observed that her roaming daughter had hogged her attention. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Chalo! Will catch you later" abruptly ending the conversation. I was in the middle of talking. Thereupon she moved away.

I stood there for few moments...completely speechless. I was astounded to see her sudden indifference towards her own set of queries. I wasn't there at her disposal to talk. Usually I don't like getting much into the story, if someone asks for the heck of 'What is it about?'. I simply say, 'Please go, buy and read it'. As simple as that! That neighbor has no right to be this rude. I am now not able to connect with her. One must show respect about what others do. If you can not do this then please do not mock with fake interests as well. You might end up hitting the wrong bull's eye. Anyway, she has taught me that not every person who shows genuine interest in you is real. A very important lesson indeed!

Thursday, 19 February 2015

"Let's make a pact. I'll die first!"

Few days back, Sumit and I were discussing on some matters. Somehow the conversation headed towards ageing, dying and such bitter truths of life. I said that I don't want to age and want to die young. Sumit replied philosophically that everyone has to die one day. To mock him, I said,

"Okay! I think I'll die before you". I said in order to make him feel little sad inside so that he would pamper me with some comforting lines. But his reply mocked me back with a wicked grin. Sumit said,

"One day, everyone has to die my dear". I was clearly offended. I wanted him to say stuff like 'No. Don't talk like this' or go angry saying 'How come you can talk about dying. I love you and can't be without you' but his anger switch was turned off but mine was on. I tried for once more.

"Okay then! Let's make a pact. I will die first". He was amused to listen to this. And he said,

"No. Will die together". This comforted me a little but my vengeance was still on! I repeated.

'I will die first and that's final". He laughed at me. So this way, I have made myself lucky because dying first will not let me face the loneliness. I too can't be without him, you see.

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

When I let the silence prevail.

This morning after my regular work out, I bid farewell to my hubby. Son was already in the school. After my hubby left, I sorted out rooms and stuff. Usually when I am doing chores and free of my writing sparks at the same time, I prefer listening to music. Music lightens me up and works as an excellent charger. While folding out the blanket, I thought to plug in my ears with my favorite tunes but somehow, I restrained myself. I took a moment and realized I was already tuned in! I had been around to the music of silence. It felt strange but rather very peaceful when I let the sprawled silence enter inside my head too. It felt really amazing.

It is not necessary to keep doing something all the time. An hour or so must be dedicated to pin drop silence. Once I stumbled on such zone, I felt so much at peace; away from all the chaos and hubble-bubbles of life though there was fan rotation sound and few birds still chirped outside but my whole concentration was narrowed down to the stillness of time. I truly enjoyed that particular slot while completing my chores. If someone asks why specifically I let the silence win over me, I may not have an exact answer. I may not have produced a particular product. But I can say one thing for sure. That not everything in life should be done in order to achieve something. There must be some actions which can be taken just for getting connected with inner self. Much like meditation or Yoga or looking out of window just to enjoy the bluish sky and vibrant trees. These are the time zones when nothing tinkles but only the silence. And silence can be one of the greatest friends in this world. It seeps happiness little by little.

And now is the time to slip how I came to escape my silent zone. I was so much soaked by the quietness of time that when my maid rang the door bell, I was literally jerked. Then a hearty laugh escaped my lips. Never let anything absorb you so much that it attains a full power on you. The final moments taught me this at least. :)

Thursday, 12 February 2015

A terrible day.

I feel terrible while I write this. My uncle (my father's elder brother whom I call Tau ji) is not doing well at all back at home. I have just returned on 31st and I have come to receive this news. It was so awful to listen to all the details; how he got up late at night and how miserably he handled himself while going to the washroom. He fell down and hit his head to the nearby wall. Thrice!! Fortunately my mother's sleep was interrupted with his first fall (my uncle sleeps in a different room on the same floor). She got suspicious and woke up my father. My father went to check on my uncle and there he found him! Bleeding, unconscious in the pool of his own blood. His head bore a serious injury and a vein was visibly burst out. It was a horrible sight to him. He immediately got in action and managed to admit him in the hospital. According to doctors, he is stable now but he has lost lots of blood and is doing very much low by health.

For some reasons, I wasn't in exchange of conversation with my parents for last two days. Thus, I was completely unaware what was going on there. When my mother called this morning and told everything, I was shocked to listen to all of this. I couldn't believe it was all happening with him. No matter how much I suppressed myself, just the thought of the pain he must have endured while hitting the wall thrice, made me go weak and tears welled up in my eyes. It is so heart wrenching to think of him in such a situation. Since the moment I have hung up the phone, I am not able to concentrate on anything. I could not do my work and failed to write my story even by a word! Tears somehow found the outlet through my eyes and I cried more later.

Thursday, 5 February 2015

Does saying 'Sorry' make you feel any better?

One might say...Yes. It does. But sometimes, tiny chips of guilty unknowingly get left inside you. Committing with a sincere apology definitely gets shards of needling guilty away but it becomes hard when the person you are apologizing to does not acknowledge the level of your sincerity. So, saying 'Sorry', sometimes, does not make you feel any better.

Yet I believe we should say this one word whenever any mistake happens. It, at least, saves you from over-thinking or sulking deep in the ocean. I recently did an apology to someone and after doing that, I feel only a bit better because, I think, the person did not realize that I was being true to my front. I wanted to bury the hatchets but I got late and missed the bus. I had been thinking over the genuineness of my action since days but today only I got to terms with it completely. See. The over-thinking. It back fires. I finally said Sorry. The person probably is still hurt and I am now mum on the topic. But do I repent apologizing now? No. I do not. I was late yet I did my part thinking it’s never too late. If the person is unable to process my feelings, it is absolutely okay. I, any way, was not seeking for any sort of reply. The damage is done. At least, I tried to fix it and a tiny part of me is at peace now.

Sometimes it's hard to undo things.

Wednesday, 4 February 2015

A friendly company.

When I was heading back to Bangalore on Jan. 31st, my flight took a halt at Delhi airport. I was supposed to spend 40 minutes inside the aircraft until all Delhi passengers occupied their seats. Till that time, I didn't have a company. A guy was next to me but there were no sorts of communication happened between us. When you travel alone, you involuntarily crush over a friendly company. At Delhi, I prayed for a good companionship for the rest of the journey. And like my call had finally been answered, an old lady sat next to me. I was relieved. She was talkative. She started. I hopped in enthusiastically. She is the wife of a Wing Commander. I was impressed. Although she was old yet she beamed with experience and energy. She asked about my whereabouts and somewhere in between, I said I am an author and I showed her my book, It's Never Too Late. She was surprised and said she too was once fond of poems. She used to make years ago but now those hobbies have taken a back seat. I wondered why. She said because of marriage and all the other responsibilities.

I politely said these are actually all excuses. If one wants to do something, he/she finds time to do it. Though I was being pretty much straight forward (which I am), she agreed much to my amazement. I was glad she was ready to accept it. I tried to coax her into start writing again. She was uncertain but enthusiastic enough to think about it. That's all one needs to re-start a snoozing hobby. She said she also wants to learn some music. Perfect! I love music too. I shared how much all members in my family are music lovers and what kind of talents each of us carry. I encouraged her to start living her hobbies again. She has already taken care of her responsibilities and now she can take off with her favorites. She said she will do it.Then both of us went on about the other parts of our lives. She told her experiences. I shared mine. It was fun. I must say, the rest of the journey went by in a blink. She was so cool and nice to talk with.

Monday, 2 February 2015

My Sis' Marriage

So Bangalore marked my absence for the entire January this year. I was at my native to attend my little sister's marriage. To help my mother beforehand with other marriage chores and enjoy an extra inch long grandiosity of the occasion, I took off from my home on Jan. 4th. Marriage was on 17th. and I also had to be prepared to battle against the spine chilling cold of North. I joined my parents with pre preparations. How Indian marriages are special, you can read it in my book, It's Never Too Late. Now let me show you how much I enjoyed the rituals in real.

With my mother and sister during a pre-marriage ritual

Gaana bajaana...masti time