Tuesday, 25 November 2014

The curious case of brutal honesty.

Currently I am encountering people who are trying to be brutal honest with each other just to prove their point/s. I listen to them and counsel as well but after sometime, I fail to congregate what to say because none of them seems eager to actually listen to the wisdom I care to dispense. I have experience and if close people I care about can benefit from that, I choose to speak the history behind my grey hair (not much. Just a few for the record). But proving each other to them seems to be so much important that they simply disable their listening and understanding switches off. I am now mum. Let the time do its role as always.

Honesty, is one of the most significant glues of any relationship that keeps people in it bonded. That is why we receive bag of emotions. That is why we get angry, sad, happy or delighted. Honesty, in any relationship, must be the mirror to people. That is how it nurtures us, that is how we grow and that is how we become able to build an everlasting relationship entrusted with blooming trust and glowing affection. In short, honesty is an important virtue that should sprout other virtues like trust, love, care and passion.

But the case changes and becomes curious when honesty is degraded to brutal honesty. It is hard to spot the difference at the moment. The relationship starts to suffer. Honesty allows growth whereas brutal honesty kills a relationship. Somethings in life should go beyond saying. Things that seek visible harm must be locked tight in the resilient concrete basement. When being honest to someone (especially the one you are closest to), it is always better to set a priority of emotions to be displayed at the moment. Like affection and eagerness to understand each other. If these top the list, brutality will be chucked out from the scenario much like grey clouds ahead of a clear sky. The actual thing starts to shine and people starts to focus on each other rather than their own selves.

Be honest but not brutal honest. If a person, who loves you, needs you, you need him/her too. Speak wisely. Do not rush into proving yourself right all the time. Find the balance so that troublesome times never find your address. Stop comparing as well. If every one of us is own kind on this planet then it does not make sense if we push someone to be like someone else. Give yourself as well as your beloved the space where a good warm nurturing relationship can breathe under the light of understanding, care and passion to live with each other forever.

As Oriah Mountain Dreamer has said, "If we can find the courage to call out and listen deeply, we will find our way home". Remember, it is not ME who is important. It is US that makes things work.


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