Saturday, 29 November 2014

Embracing Bangalore

Living in a different state can fill your cup only then when you are ready to mold accordingly. We have been living in the city for long and I am quite keen to learn its native language which is Kannada. Despite of many trials in the past, I could not learn the language past more than a few lines. Somehow I could not comply to the fullest.

Learning a different language is tough? Isn't it? But being a stubborn soul, I won't stop until I learn it. So I have started learning it again. This time my maid is helping me getting through the barriers. I have learnt few new sentences lately and I am trying to instill them in my daily life. Therefore in the process, I started to have some fun with my husband this morning. After breakfast, I asked him whether he wanted tea but in Kannada. He looked at me, completely puzzled and clueless. I was being amused within. I repeated my question. He again looked at me but answered in Kannada out of a guess. And it was correct!! In the meanwhile, my maid was having her own share of fun seeing me tricking my husband like that.

It was fun. Talking to him like that. I guess if I continue like this, I can learn faster. Everyday I am learning new set of lines and trying to remember them before the next one. Isn't it appropriate to say...that let me embrace Bangalore in one more way. :)

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Happy or sad? Better go neutral.

Reading conspires against your will. It makes you think over so many things that you wouldn't think otherwise. The moment is one of them in which I am expressing another trail of my thoughts in this ever expanding white landscape.

The trail is triggered by a thought; a thought about an inevitable upcoming future. When I know my birthday or something cheerful is about to unfold, happiness seeps in but when I know I am going to face an unfortunate moment, sadness resides instead. Either way, we know a definite pavement to walk into but...knowing the upcoming and yet to be uncertain how to feel about it is weird and rather strange. Because we feel either happy or sad about something, anything. In other words, things either make us happy or sad. There is no third road to put forward our foot on.

But how about going neutral? Why do we have to bother about being either happy or sad about something? Emotions burden us with unnecessary pressure. If it is a good future moment, we involuntarily are delighted but if the opposite takes place, sadness ricochets from this wall to that one. But going neutral is worth giving a shot. When you know a certain span of future is about to lay bare in front of your eyes and you are helpless about its transformation under your control, just go neutral. Don't tangle yourself into deciding whether to feel happy or sad. Just stay, live and think neutral. Future itself will decide for you. 

It, I know, is easier said than done. We have always categorized ourselves by emotions. Loneliness, joy, anger, agitation, surprise, sadness, fear; every emotion categorizes our unfolding as per its emergence. For a moment, just for a moment, let's go neutral. Slice the own self away from every emotion. Would it be hard or would it make the upcoming easier to deal with?

Guess what? Only the time will tell. But for now, be neutral when you are uncertain about how to feel about the upcoming.

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

The curious case of brutal honesty.

Currently I am encountering people who are trying to be brutal honest with each other just to prove their point/s. I listen to them and counsel as well but after sometime, I fail to congregate what to say because none of them seems eager to actually listen to the wisdom I care to dispense. I have experience and if close people I care about can benefit from that, I choose to speak the history behind my grey hair (not much. Just a few for the record). But proving each other to them seems to be so much important that they simply disable their listening and understanding switches off. I am now mum. Let the time do its role as always.

Honesty, is one of the most significant glues of any relationship that keeps people in it bonded. That is why we receive bag of emotions. That is why we get angry, sad, happy or delighted. Honesty, in any relationship, must be the mirror to people. That is how it nurtures us, that is how we grow and that is how we become able to build an everlasting relationship entrusted with blooming trust and glowing affection. In short, honesty is an important virtue that should sprout other virtues like trust, love, care and passion.

But the case changes and becomes curious when honesty is degraded to brutal honesty. It is hard to spot the difference at the moment. The relationship starts to suffer. Honesty allows growth whereas brutal honesty kills a relationship. Somethings in life should go beyond saying. Things that seek visible harm must be locked tight in the resilient concrete basement. When being honest to someone (especially the one you are closest to), it is always better to set a priority of emotions to be displayed at the moment. Like affection and eagerness to understand each other. If these top the list, brutality will be chucked out from the scenario much like grey clouds ahead of a clear sky. The actual thing starts to shine and people starts to focus on each other rather than their own selves.

Monday, 24 November 2014

Friends make good times unforgettable.

Last weekend was spent totally meeting with some of our close friends. We had lunch at one friend's house and then dinner and sleepover at other's. We could leave only after following day's lunch. It was so nice and fun to spend time with all of'em. 

In a vast and ever expanding city like Bangalore, if you happen to bond with some of the best people on the planet then the world is surely at your feet. We are glad and privileged to find some new friends here who totally share our frequency. Finding true friendship is tough but when you get it, it is a bliss. During lunch, we pulled each others' legs and at barbecue dinner, it was soothing to sit out at the rim of the balcony and watch our husbands knitting veggie pieces in skewers. We chatted a lot. Laughter just came along swiftly. Altogether we had one of those times that we will never forget.

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Never say...If I had a chance.

If I had to live my life all over again, I would relax more. I'd be sillier than I have been on this trip. I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers and watch more sunsets. I would have more actual troubles and less imaginary ones. Oh I have had my moments and if I had to to do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else, just moments, one after another. And I'd pick more daisies.

 - Nadine Stair, age 89

A wonderfully described thought on deathbed. Isn't it?

Currently I am reading Robin Sharma's Family Wisdom and the chapter I just started and finished was titled The Best Worst Experience of my Life. Intriguing by the very name I know. The book is about a lady named Catherine and her unstoppable blind race towards success and then more success. The particular chapter entails on how she came across her awakening in the final moments, at least she thought, of her life. During those final tick tocks, a collage of various pictures clouded her mind which, surprisingly for her, had none of the snapshots of her business meetings, success, money or the latest possession. It was all done up with her family's. Kids, husband and she enjoying themselves on a solo family holiday she had in Canada. She realized it was not her business that her life was worth for. It was her family that had the treasure of her happiness and success she was seeking and reeking for so long. In her words...

- of all those hundreds of thoughts that I had in those last few moments before the plane crashed, not a single one was about myself or my business. 

I am yet to read the succeeding chapter and I so desperately want to but I chose to share my thoughts here. Why it is always we realize the truth of life in our final moments and why not when we are young and enthusiastic enough to build a life as per our desires? Why life teaches us the most important lesson during our last final moments? Why?

Monday, 17 November 2014

A little reminder from life

Last week, one of my neighbors had to face a highly unanticipated emergency. Her li'l daughter swallowed something when she was out. Her helper called out immediately and she reached hurriedly only to witness her daughter feeling gravely drowsy. Unfortunately, her husband was also out of station and there was no one else at home for help either besides the helper. My friend was about to ran down the stairs when she caught on the idea of contacting her nearest neighbor. She banged on the door frantically. Unfortunate was generously hailing upon her at the moment. There was no one in the house to attend. Everyone had gone out. My friend started shouting madly calling her name when, fortunately, the other neighbor heard it. He ran down to see what had happened. Then he took her and her little daughter to the hospital where doctors did their job. Later on, the little one was shifted to another hospital for better treatment. I didn't know any of this. I was sleeping through the evening because of poor health while my friend kept crying for help.

Next morning she texted me with all the scenario. I was horrified to read them. I immediately called her. She told her daughter had probably swallowed the mosquito repellent from its broken case and how helpless she was at the moment. My mouth fell open. I winced for not being able to reach her on time. She then entailed on every detail and how her daughter's health was stable. Her husband had immediately caught the early morning flight and flew back home. I was relieved to hear this. I like my this particular neighbor a lot and literally don't want to see her going through any trouble let alone such serious one.

Friday, 14 November 2014

Switch the courts and that's it!

My son loves participating in competitions. He has even won three medals (2 Gold and 1 Bronze). This year, he has participated in International Mathematics Olympiad (IMO) which is happening in the first week of this December. He had done satisfactory in National Science Olympiad (NSO) one that happened this week. He received his practice book the morning before the exam and in one day (and I acknowledge it very proudly), he completed all ten chapters! He slept one and half hours late than his usual time but not before he finished solving all those ten chapters. He wanted to do well in the exam and that was why he preferred to solve all those chapters, however, his eyes cracked with webs of red lines and I could see faint appearances of dark circles under his eyes. For encouragement, I stayed awake beside him to support in his endeavors. Finally when he was done, I was proud and all satisfied with his endurance to do good in science exam which went okay.

Now the Maths one is approaching fast. I received the practice book this after noon. In the evening when my son was done with watching TV, doing homework and playing random, I asked him to start solving Maths sums from the book. He refused constantly. He again wanted to watch TV which I wasn't in mood to agree for. I kept pestering for him to solve sums while he was all about watching TV.

Monday, 3 November 2014

When you are judged for being thoughtful.

Sometimes it feels like thoughtfulness or being considerate to someone else have become alien words. You do something for the sake of their own goodness and last thing you know, you have become unpleasant and a personality who was forcing things on them.

How illogical and unfair it is?! I was being good and kind enough to some people but all I am left with is an unanticipated bucketful of ill words and rudeness. And all this while, I enveloped myself thinking the world is sane enough to return warmth in exchange of the same. What an irony? I am now crashed on a different reality island.

It hurts. I feel bad. Such people have beautifully insured the stop button on my visit to their homes. I am being paid for my goodness. I now have no courage to meet and greet such people, forget about being thoughtful like earlier I was. This is, I guess, the biggest disadvantage. Because of others insensitivity, you lose people, you lose relationships and most of all, you end up learning unpleasant lessons. Why people do it anyway? Why they fail to acknowledge others' sacrifice of time and energy just for them? Who gives them the right to judge others? How they can be so misfit in the whole picture?

There are lots of questions that could be quenched with one answer. Because - World doesn't work exactly according to our expectations. Different minds, and different perspectives originate different people. But still...why people are immune to other's kindness?