Tuesday, 6 May 2014

Bits of life

So...I am back in Bangalore from my native home visit and now gradually catching up with my writer self. It has indeed been long since I have written something on my blog but you know what...it's never too late to start afresh. Therefore, allow me a fresh beginning.

Talking about my home visit, it wasn't normal like every last year. My tau ji (uncle) has got operated for mouth cancer recently and now he is being taking up rounds of radio therapy alias radiations. I love and respect my tau ji a lot and that was the prominent reason to move my lazy bones and flew over to my home. Being there with him felt me wonderful but seeing his little distorted face made me sad (distortion is because of the operation). Every day I wish best for him. I want him to get well very very soon. My tai ji or his wife (aunt) is no more. She expired few years ago. Surviving such painful stage without your life partner is terrible. I have seen it on my tau ji's face. He is disbelievingly patient and pleasantly co-operative but loneliness has crept inside him. We do our best to make him happy and not to let him feel alone. But despite of the downs of his life, tau ji smiles with every one of us. He holds enormous strength. He co-operates completely and sometimes do not hesitate to scold us for some silly things we do which we take it with pleasure. On the day I was leaving, he was better than when I had come to see him. He is doing okay by health yet he needs to take precautions followed by few more rounds of radiations. I want him to live positively and get healthy asap.

When I was leaving home, like always I went emotional and couldn't resist shedding columns of tears. My sister was laughing for I was crying like a small girl. She was sad too but she has got better control on herself. Anyways I miss her too. My flight was via Varanasi to Delhi and then Delhi to Bangalore. When the flight took off from Varanasi airport, my eyes again filled with tears. Involuntarily I realized I was getting far far away from my native, my parents. I had to cease my emotions. Seeing pictures that I took also made me cry. Few tears dared to touch my cheeks. Truly speaking, I hated coming back to Bangalore. I wanted to stay with my parents much like any girl would want. But this is our unchangeable fate...and cruel too. Anyways, to calm my senses I looked out and the sight made me smile. I was astonished to see it. What did I see? See it for yourself :)

Soft and tiny shrubs of clouds

The sight made me smile. Finally I landed on Bangalore airport known as Kempegowda International Airport. I was dreading whether I would be able to smile seeing Sumit (as I was terribly sad within). He would be extremely happy while I was still heavily drugged with the nauseating feelings of being away from my parents. The moment I popped myself out of the aircraft, the cool breeze welcomed me. It felt like it was soothing my hurting senses and patting my emotions. The cool wind was doing its job good but I was just not ready to unbuckle my stubborn sadness. After sometime, I met Sumit. He had come with our car. He stuffed dikki with the luggage and then he hugged me. A terse smile rested on my lips. 'Yes! still not happy' I thought. We drove off the airport and stopped midway to have our dinner. My mother had packed dinner for him (Sumit loves home cooked food). We finished eating and then made the final zoom to home. On the way, I looked at his face. He was obviously looking at front. I smiled. I didn't know how but his beautiful face and mere presence did  overcome my sadness. I was surprised. I kept looking at him for few more seconds and then I knew, only his love has the power to surpass any of the downfalls in my life. And as this divine fact dawned at me, I relaxed back at my seat. Now I was no more anxious being far away from my native home. I was home...away from a home.

Now that I am all settled and taking charge of my writing (I could not write a single word during my stay there), I am content. I am at peace. My experience says that for a girl, her husband's love can make her forget everything. Sumit is all glad. He often grins looking at me. He is at peace too....finding me around him. I wonder whether he is an alien. Where husbands find peace with their wives' absence, the thing is strikingly reverse with him. But I love it, adore it and enjoy it. Life is nothing without each other and everything with each other.

But one thing hit me hard at my native. Seeing my tau ji's weak body and inability to eat properly, I realized the importance of having perfectly functional body. He has become so lean that I feel ashamed at my health. We often resist talking about food in front of him (he is living with highly restricted diet regime and that too is allowed in liquid form. He can't chew). When he is around, we sometime avoid eating anything delicious, however, he has no issues. He is a survivor and I know he will surely come out of this misery but I keep thinking about how we give almost no value to our working body and when it is gone, we can do nothing but to regret.

See you shortly in my next post!!

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Hey! Before you leave, i wish you a good day or...night.