Thursday, 17 October 2013

Things to avoid in friendship


Lots of people want to ride with you in limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down ~ Oprah Winfrey

How true is the above statement! True friends are those who will walk beside you even if you are stripped of luxuries. True friends will love you as YOU ARE. True friends are also your best critiques. People blessed with such friendship are lucky and happier than those who travel on the opposite track. I am also blessed to have such a friend in my life who has always been there whenever I needed her. She is beautiful not only from her outlook but also from her heart. She is a good listener and reflects a warm stature. I love being with her and enjoy her company. I have in fact written a post on her. We have been friends since say, fifteen years. Yes! It's true. Our blissful friendship has seen fifteen bitter sweet seasons of life and I am sure will see the rest too. 

But I am not the sole reason of our friendship. I know the efforts she had put in the initial years of our friendship to not let this bridge between us break down. I completely acknowledge and respect the ways she thinks about me. Being honest, if she hadn't placed efforts to hold the one end of our friendship, we would never have traveled this far. So a bit from my experience and knowledge on the subject, I am emphasizing today on what not to do in friendship so that it can last forever.

Best pals fill that odd gap

 Stop bitching

If you are a back biter or you do bitching about your friend, you are not friends for sure. As clear as that. Moving on...

Say NO to the communication gap

A long communication gap will make your precious friendship suffer with harsh seasons. Make sure you keep talking to your best pals when you get some time and also make sure that you get that *free time* very often. Calling just to share your latest shopping spree experience, or you have bought a new tie puts both of you in a comfy zone. Elated mood, happy heart and good health are just a few fruits gifted by a healthy friendship.

Don't be jealous

So what if your best buddy is more beautiful than you? So what if he has the luxuries? These things are materials and do not choose materialistic things over your long lasting friendship. Despite of having all the luxuries, if he is still friends with you then you must have something good in yourself. Realize that quality and stop being jealous. But once you realize your good quality, do not take pride in it. Things work both ways.

 Do not beat around the bush

Given that your best friend always listens to you and place counsels accordingly but it'd be a BIG no no to talk about trivial unimportant things all the time. Beating around the bush will take you nowhere but to the exit door of the friendship heaven. Learn when to speak and moreover, what to speak. This will strengthen your bond.

Do not take problems on a light note

Your friend is entailing on something serious that holds a high importance to her but that doesn't sound the same for you, still listen. Sometimes things that deceive you with an appearance of not-so-important negligee may actually hide some serious issues inside. Listen patiently and if the problem still doesn't knock you as complicated as it is to your friend, try to understand its nook and canny. Ask whether you can help someway to get her out of this mess. Lending out a helping hand will keep your friendship on a strong note.

Do not avoid occasions

Like birthdays, anniversaries, festivals and et cetra. These are one of those highly valuable and crucial times that speak of how responsible and serious you are about your friendship. Once I had forgotten to wish my best friend her anniversary and how awful I felt afterwards. Save yourself from this misery and set a reminder of all the important dates on the calender or in the mobile. This will say that you care enough to call and wish.

Do not hurt your friend

Spitting harsh words is more brutal than the knife cut. Or, at least I believe so. Words that are dipped in ill mind set potion will set your delicate friendship on fire. It will burn out. So refrain yourself from speaking ill words. Never ever hurt your friend with any of your actions and if you have done so even by mistake, apologize immediately. Saving your apologies for later may wreck a havoc on your friendship.

On the other hand, if your friend has said something that hurt you, do not stop talking to him altogether. Try to dissect the reason behind. May be he was stressed or had some complications lately that he hasn't share with you yet. Keep a soft heart, absorb the hurt and do visit your friend again. 

Stop being negative

Speaking ill of others is certainly not a wise gesture to start or continue the conversation with your friend. If you have some grievances, you can talk but stretching it like a rubber band will create a negligence wall between the both of you. If you see something negative, try to ignore and if you can not then try to see the positive aspects. Everyone loves being around happy and positive people and I am sure your friend will be too. So be positive, take life with a smile and talk happily.


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