Thursday, 24 October 2013

Things that go unheard between *you two*

Communication sums up the major part of any relationship but when it comes to partners, it plays a vital role. We get to know about each other likes, dislikes, personality perks and certain pointers through the language. But if you stress on what I have just said, you will notice that I mentioned language plays a vital role but not a complete role. Language does not constitute the entire happening communication between you two. It only makes for around 40% of your communication, per se. So what makes up for the rest of the 60% to build a relationship? What fills in the gap?

The 60% thing that fills in the gap is, the non-verbal communication. It envelops those gestures or actions which are not dependent solely on the language but majorly to the ability to get that untyped message deciphered; more of your ability to read between the lines. Few things that we like can be signaled with a thumbs up gesture while dislikes can be prompt with hesitant nod. If you don't get the right message on right time, the relationship can see the downside. Fear not. By placing little efforts, you can certainly understand those unspoken unheard things of your relationships that can keep ringing the bells of your love song forever.

We will talk in second person reference (like he or she) through the article.

1. Understand those gestures

When your partner nod hesitantly or thinks before saying Yes or No, it IS the cue. He may not be feeling comfortable to follow with what you have to say. But instead of making YOU uncomfortable, he catches up with a disagreed heart. When you ask something, be attentive towards the body language of your partner. When an obvious answer comes with a delay note, it's time to revise your question.

2. Little things matter

One brick by one brick makes up for a building. Same way, relationships are undoubtedly stand on little things. A simple example is, when your partner is verbally trying to communicate something to you and you rather go on with accusation, it matters a lot. Things can settle down with ease and comfort if you both share those little corner spaces of understanding and sensitivity.

If your partner doesn't like to receive a party on her birthday, it is fine. Birthdays and such occasions are not always meant to be celebrated with lots of gung ho and a big crowd. Just the two of you, lovely conversation, a nice meal course, flattering ambiance and a touch of peace in mind are more than enough. And to attain this, you won't have to find a plush place. A home sweet home always is the perfect solution.

Also, try to change your habits that works negative for your relationship. It is quintessential to look after it. You may get brought to notice for once or twice but may be not more than that. Before your partner turns his face opposite, kick that bad habit out.

3. Pay attention to the language

Language has both the faces, the good and the bad. Before you opt for a language type that can easily irk your partner, switch to your angel side. Spoken words can never be taken back. So be cautious when and what you are saying and in which manner. There is always a better way to say almost everything. Almost because beautiful things like I Love You or I Need You need not to be paraphrased in a different way. Agree?

4. Keep a tap on your EGO

Ego! It can easily spoil a beautiful happily ever after relationship. But why to spoil a thing that appears beautiful? It is indeed hard to watch over for the fine line between the ego and the self-respect. For me, ego crushes down the minute when you put your partner above you. You put her likes and dislikes etc. on the top of your priority list. Seeing her happy is all you want. Seeing her smiling gives you the happiness that nothing can beat, even the pompous new year bonus from your stone hearted boss. If keeping your partner happy is your eternal wish, that is your self-respect.

But if you worry only about *your* happiness, sorry to say but you are suffering with ego issues. Solution can be found but only if you look for it.

5. Need space

When dead furniture need space then why not humans? We all need space. Agree that relationship between the partners is more about sharing your zone and life but still, space is one thing that everyone needs. You too need space. We can not run around keyed with our responsibilities. There are the things that we simply love to do in our leisure. And for that, we need space.

But you must understand what giving out a space is. It can be like letting your partner listening to her favorite music when you are busy with your some other work or, when you want to spend your Sunday watching a cricket match without thinking a bit about the shopping list she has set for the day. Space gives you a freedom that ties the bond between you two with stronger fibers. It is contradictory but it is true. If you give and find space in your relationship, you come closer that strengthens the bond.

6. I NEED YOU moments

There are several times when your partner needs you. I can vividly recall the commemoration of the book Why women are from Venus and men are from Mars. In its first chapter, it clearly entails on the moment when a mother of a new born baby needs her husband despite of the chaos cracked with some grotesque situations. It is vital and utmost important to speak about moments like I NEED YOU or I AM THERE WITH YOU...ALWAYS. Many a times, may be your partner won't say it but try to see beyond the situation.

                                                                x -------- x

There are many more pointers to write about it but I have summoned to some of them only. Think about the things that can go or are going unheard in your relationship. If these things go without being taken care of, a havoc will be wrecked on you and the relationship that you claim to be living happily with may break down to pieces. Place efforts and sustain the freshness and liveliness of the relationship that only YOU TWO share.

But if you fail at your attempts, your partner will be the best doctor to stitch those cracks and heal those wounds.

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