Saturday, 20 April 2013

Why forgiving is so tough?

I am not here to answer or to explain the reason behind this question. Rather, I am here to ask. Why is it so tough to forgive? Why, sometimes in our lives, the concept of forgiving becomes too hard to abide? Why?

When I roll back the reel life through the past, some faces appear in front of my perplexed eyes. Those faces smile, they wince, they laugh, they cry, they share their joys and delights, they scold, they teach; basically they had done everything that being in a relationship can be defined. None of their expressions were fake, I know this from the very bottom of my heart.

Yet...it's too hard to forgive. Why?

When life takes a different path or I should be saying it in a better way, when life hurls us on an unwanted path, why the same smiling and sharing faces become so strange, so extrinsic that it culminates into an inner juggling to accept them? I know there are some catches in everyone's persona but yet, it becomes a real tough job to accept and manifest those people who were once in a fantastic camaraderie with you and now went wrong in putting their heads on the right side of coin.


I wonder whether it happens with anyone else too or it's just me messing my hair over such microbial things.


Mistakes are bound to happen in any relationship; whether little or big, no one can fleet from committing mistakes. When we enjoy contemporary moment together, such questions never pop up. But when life takes a nasty U-turn, same moments start to pinch; same mistakes looks horrendous despite of their size. They just grow monstrously in our heads, eating the conduit between senses with its canine teeth and sharp paws.

A little confusion buds out into a full grown flummoxed struggle. When we had smiled with them, why can't we again do the same? When we had shared everything with them once, why we become so paralyzed to commit for another share of warmth? It feels really awful and quaint. May be our egos bars our way or may be, such things are controlled mostly by heart. Whatever the reason is, it is really hard to forgive those people who have made few years of your life a complete wastage, a trash where you kept dumping your entire energy, emotion and ability to carry on the relationship without knowing these all were going deep down in the tunnel of rotten egos through the sewer of selfish relationships.

Yet, I do fight with my own heart. I want to let my mind take over on such issues. I am completely wary of the fact that those people, however went wrong in contemplating things in a straight manner, are still good by heart; they still do good for others but I am failing at the task of forgiving them so soon. It may consume a little time slot equals to one life time. It hurts my own self. It cuts through my repertoire asking why I can't do this. But sadly I have no answer. I keep stifling every battle taken upfront but still, it is too tough to unravel my own complicated raveled ball of thoughts sometimes; it is too philosophical to explain another mysterious facet of human nature.

At the end, I know just one thing. If to err is human, to forgive is...also a human. One day, may be one day, I will be able to mold myself into a better person than I am now and will command a better hold over my heart. Then it will become a child task to let those lovely good-at-heart people come back into my life with open heart and stretched arms. It will become much easier to again smile with them and do everything that I had done in those trashy years of my life.

One day may be.















2 comments:

  1. Interesting....most difficult task of ones life that you just talked about...It's not easy yet not impossible too....but most serene and relaxing feeling for the life it is. :)

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    Replies
    1. :) Yeah I agree and that's precisely why it's so tough to comply with :)

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