Monday, 10 December 2012

Jokes to ease your crease

Today I was smiling over jokes on the internet and thought to spread it by writing here. This way you will get a smile while easing up your forehead creases. I hope to take your all stress, sadness, worries and tensions away for few minutes. So here we go:


Son-in-law to father in law writes a letter:

Dear Dad,

I deeply regret taking a petrol car in dowry. Please take your daughter or car back. I can not afford both of them.

Yours loving,
Son-in-law


A lady was trying to take control of her hair which was getting drier day by day. She treated her 
scalp with olive oil and then had several rounds of shampooing in order to get rid off its smell.

The same night, she asked her husband before going to sleep.

"Do I smell like olive?"

"No. Why? Do I look like Popeye?"


John asked her mom for Rupees 100/-. She clearly denied.

John: "If you give me rupees 100/-, I will tell you what papa was saying to our maid Ratna yesterday morning?"

Mom got hell curious and hurriedly gave away the demanded money.

Mom: "Now tell me"

John: "Yesterday morning when you were out to talk to your neighborhood friend for five minutes, papa told the maid to wash his socks nicely"

or Facebooking about it :P


"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the king's horses,
And all the king's men,
Had scrambled eggs,
For the breakfast again"


7 types of girls in this world revealed:

1. Hard Disk girl: Remember everything forever.

2. RAM girls: Forgets about you the moment you turn them off.

3. Screen saver girls: They are good for looking only.

4. Internet girls: Literally hard to access.

5. Server girls: Busy sign on whenever you need them.

6. Multimedia girls: Make terrible things beautiful.

7. Virus girls: Normally known as WIFE. One they have entered into your system (life), impossible to format. 


Employee: "I must have a salary increment. Three companies are behind me"

The boss: "Which three companies?"

Employee: "The gas, electric and telephone companies"


News for The Judgement Day arrival:


When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it?

USA Today: WE'RE DEAD

The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS

National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN

Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE

Victoria's Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE

Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER

Wired: THE LAST NEW THING

Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR

Readers Digest: 'BYE

Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT 
AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?

Lady's Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!

America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.

Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE

TIME magazine: RENEW YOUR SUBSCRIPTION FOR ETERNITY



The train gained its full speed while a sardar hopped on it.

TT: "Can't you see that it is a ladies compartment?"

Sardar: "Ohh! Sorry but I thought you were a man"


Son: "Papa! When did you go to Egypt?"
Father (bewildered): "No. I have never been to Egypt. Why?"
Son: "Then from where did you get mummy?"


A boss was explaining two precious rules for running a company to one applicant

The boss: "Second rule is the cleanliness. Did you wiped your shoe dirt out before entering in here?"

Applicant: "Yes sir. I sure did."

The boss: "And the first rule is trustworthiness. There is no mat in here"


For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. For positive karma, share this page with your friends.


Well...I hope you are smiling now. See you again with another post. Keep that smile buddy :)



























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